Biff Tannen Says "Make Like a Tree and Get Lost"

One of my greatest pet peeves in wine service relates to the discussion of tannins. Described by Wine Bible author Karen MacNeil as "the most intellectually intruiging" aspect of wine, tannins are more simply put the most confounding concept for the untrained palate. While they are often mistaken for acid in a wine, they are another portion of the flavour profile altogether. The best analogy for strong tannins, is over-steeped tea, and they are most notable in producing that same puckering sensation on your gums. They are an important aspect of the tasting experience, as strong tannins can dominate a wine, soft ones can underscore a beautiful tasting experience, and they have a direct say in why most red wines make seafood taste metallic. In spite of the seemingly abstract nature of tannins to the new wine drinker, for the professional, they are of critical importance to understanding balance in wine.



I cannot count the amount of times that sommeliers, when summoned to a table, make a point to describe the tannins of a wine being inquired about. I cringe, each time, in equal measure to every attempt Biff Tannen makes at a clever quip in the Back To The Future trilogy.



While I am certain that describing such high minded concepts to a table pads these "stewards" ego to no end, the fact remains that the large majority of people they describe them to have no idea what they are talking about. New wine drinkers describe intimidation as the biggest obstacle in their pursuit of learning more about wine. The reality is that most people who request a sommelier, do so because they are amongst this intimidated majority. Those who feel that they are masters of the tannin universe are alot less likely to lean on the advice of others, preferring to go full on peacock mode in front of their dates, associates and friends by simply choosing the wine for the table. That leaves those poor insecure newbies at the mercy of wine snobs who feel expressing their own awesomeness is somehow more important to the dining experience than the comfort of the guests.



And you thought Biff Tannen was a bully...



Sommeliers train very hard to provide a service to the guests. I just wish more of my peers remembered that service and alienation pair worse than Barolo and Mahi Mahi.