With less than five minutes remaining in the gold medal game, Team USA found themselves on the brink of glory, carrying a 2 goal lead into the final stretch in a game that seemed locked given the air of defeat surrounding their rival Canadians. Problem for the Americans is that their team included a Kessel, and Toronto fans do not have to go very far back in time to recall being within minutes of glory, only to have Lucy yank away that football, leaving Charlie Brown ass backwards in the mud.
In spite of 56 minutes of lack lustre, uninspired hockey, Team Canada found the back of the net with 3 and a half minutes remaining, ensuring the ghost of big brother Phil would throwing fecal matter at the wall of the Kessel family would-be trophy room.
Dont think the hockey gods hate the Kessels? Tell me how this puck stays out of the empty net? Seconds after pulling their goalie, team Canada's MVP stands strong as the post is all that keeps them in this most unlikely of games.
Hollywood loves this shit, the Kessel family does not. Nothing like 6 goals combined against your blood in the dying minutes of cant lose hockey games to set a giant, Pee Wee Herman Foil-ball sized stone in the pit of your stomach. Tie game. This bitch is going to overtime.
In a moment that will be studied by the likes of Ashley Young, Garreth Bale and Luis Suarez as they aim to perfect their diving routines, Hailey Wickenheiser does her best swan dive after being breathed on by the last defender on her route to goal. Canadians and soccer fans everywhere are on their feet. Problem was...despite being fooled by her dive...the ref somehow does not call a penalty shot. We are then subject to several minutes of figuring out just what the fuck you do when its a 3 on 3 and you call a 2 minute cross checking penalty...You want talking points. This shit is talking points. Deciding to make it up as they go...we have 4 on 3 hockey...not sure what would happen after 2 minutes...but that hardly matters...
'Cuz boom! CANADA WINS! Not gonna lie, it was a thing of beauty. Not to be lost in gutless referees, large posts and diving routines, this was a truly inspired moment which is exactly why sport is kind of a big deal. Also, there was a Kessel suited up for Team USA, and that can only mean one thing. Smile for the camera ladies!
Let this be a lesson. The next time you think that a Kessel has things sewn up...think again.
No comments:
Post a Comment