This is not that story.
I first met Billy back in May of 2011. Turns out in addition to slinging The General's Chicken in Undercover Brother, and playing turncoat made good in the biggest Sci-fi Trilogy in movie history, he's quite the accomplished visual artist. In addition to his artwork, he has also collaborated with Gallery owner Brian Liss, on a spoken word project, whereby smooth Billy Dee recites Brian's poetry over some even smoother jazz. Billy was in town to perform this project while selling his artwork over drinks at the Liss Gallery.
But this isn't really that story either.
You see while Billy Dee Williams is many things to many people, to the professional alchoholic, he is first and foremost the former spokesman for Colt 45, King of Malt Liquor. Even in my pre-drunken pre-teens I remember his silky delivery touting this mysterious beverage. By the time I was in college, and my roomate made a habbit of decorating his room in empty colt 40 oz's, no doubt fresh off of debilitating games of Edward 40 Hands (if you don't know, dont't ask), I had made a significant soft spot in my pop culture awareness bubble of Billy Dee's hand in my selection of over proof beer.
Having hosted a series of whiskey tastings at the Liss Gallery when launching this silly blog of mine, I got my invite in March of 2011 to this celebration of all things Billy Dee Williams. While I'm certain he's had a lifetime of signing shitty Star Wars memorabilia and the backs of painted canvas I was sure of one thing. I was going to get Billy Dee Williams to sign me a can of Colt 45.
On the day of the event, dressed to the 9's, I showed up at a walk in Beer Store nearby on Spadina Ave and went searching for the Colt 45. After minutes of panic riddled hunting I still had yet to find the prize and began shouting, "Does anyone know where to find some Colt 45?"
The clerk rushed to my aid and pointed me in the right direction, and as I grabbed myself a few cans, a gentleman to my left asked, "Are you going to that Billy Dee Williams thing?"
I was completely shell shocked by the question, but he quickly explained, "Nobody dressed as good as you, has ever ordered a Colt 45."
Apparently I wasn't the only one to enshrine Mr. Williams in the Malt Liquor Hall of Fame.
Upon arriving at the event, Billy Dee, ever the pimp, was incredibly gracious and most definitely taken aback by request to sign a couple of beer cans. Those cans sit proudly upon my mantle and will do so until I'm worm food.
He really was the most badass of screen legends. Signing beer cans. Showing off pictures of his grand kids, and delivering the poetry of Brian Liss in a vocal valour that comes from only the coolest of cats.
There was one thing that I needed to know, however. Was Billy Dee Williams really and truly a fan of Colt 45 or was that merely a paycheque?
"Son I'm an American. That was a pay cheque."
Billy Dee Williams is back for both Comic Con Toronto this weekend, as well as an exclusive showcase of his artwork Sunday night at Liss Gallery.
Be There.
And may the malt liquor be with you.
